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	<title>Life Kahuna &#187; difficult people</title>
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	<link>http://lifekahuna.com</link>
	<description>Coaching You to Get What You Want</description>
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		<title>Seven Tips for Dealing with Difficult People</title>
		<link>http://lifekahuna.com/2010/02/seven-tips-for-dealing-with-difficult-people/</link>
		<comments>http://lifekahuna.com/2010/02/seven-tips-for-dealing-with-difficult-people/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Karl Rogan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communicating effectively]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[difficult people]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lifekahuna.com/?p=112</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you&#8217;re human, you&#8217;re going to be dealing with difficult people from time to time. You&#8217;ll find them at work, at home, or even while out shopping. While you&#8217;ll likely to solve a problem with a relative or friend differently than a stranger, there are also some universal ways of communicating effectively with difficult people. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If you&#8217;re human, you&#8217;re going to be dealing with difficult people from time to time. You&#8217;ll find them at work, at home, or even while out shopping. While you&#8217;ll likely to solve a problem with a relative or friend differently than a stranger, <strong><em>there are also some universal ways of communicating effectively with difficult people.</em></strong></p>
<p><strong>Here are some tips to turn those lions into lambs:</strong></p>
<p><span id="more-112"></span></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Give them the benefit of the doubt.</strong> See if you can get to the root of why they&#8217;re acting difficult. Sometimes people are just having a bad day.  Or perhaps the reason could have nothing to do with the situation at hand, but something else in their life.</li>
<li><strong>Be kind.</strong> Fighting fire with fire often makes the situation worse. If someone&#8217;s being difficult with you, just keep a cool head and remain calm and kind. Chances are that this person will appreciate the fact that you&#8217;re being patient.
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Kindness      can help your relationship with any difficult person.</em></strong> Even if you      don&#8217;t particularly feel like being kind, try it at every opportunity. You      could end up making a new friend!</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><strong>Focus on the positive.</strong> This tip is especially important when the difficult person in your life is a family member. Because that person will always be in your life, it would benefit you in many ways to have a positive relationship. Even if they <em>are</em> difficult, they have some good aspects too. Spend your time focusing on and bringing out these positive aspects.</li>
<li><strong>Avoid pointing fingers.</strong> It&#8217;s tempting to place blame for difficult situations on the other person. Adopt the mentality that neither of you are to blame for the problem. It&#8217;ll help you gain peace and clarity about the situation.
<ul>
<li>It&#8217;s also important not to fight the other person. <strong><em>You don&#8217;t want to be      considered a difficult person</em></strong> <strong><em>either.</em></strong> Practice expressing      your opinion without resorting to arguments.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><strong>Focus on the humor.</strong> You&#8217;ve probably been in a difficult situation before where you suffered at the time, but later it turned out to be quite a humorous story. Find the humor in your current difficulty. It may help you both be more relaxed and apt to seek a positive solution.</li>
<li><strong>Determine what <em>can</em> be remedied.</strong> Focus on the particular things that you <em>can</em> take action on in the situation. For instance, if you&#8217;re having a problem at work, mediate the problem if possible. In fixing what you can, you might find that many unresolved issues with others resolve themselves.
<ul>
<li>You also need to <strong><em>have the wisdom to understand when you won&#8217;t be able to change something.</em></strong> You may need to come to terms with the fact that a person will always cause you difficulty. This acceptance alone may help you to better deal with this person.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><strong>Get help from others.</strong> You may be able to find someone who has gone through a very similar situation. Ask them how they handled the problem. This other person may be able to show you how to approach the situation with a different mindset. After all, you never really know what piece of important advice someone else may be able to give you.</li>
</ol>
<p>Difficult people will always be in your life, but that doesn&#8217;t mean that dealing with them always needs to be hard. Try these strategies to smooth out challenging situations and make your communications more effective.</p>
<p>With a little effort and understanding, you may find that some of these people really aren&#8217;t even difficult at all!</p>
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