The first thing you’ll want to do is generate rapport. This is when you feel really comfortable with somebody, you feel a lot of similarity with this person, and you share many things in common.

Next is to elicit criteria. Criteria are things that they think are important about something. Like if they are buying a TV, it may be important to them that it be a particular dimension.

The more vague and fuzzy their criteria are, the better. If they want to eat pizza, and all you sell is hot dogs, you’ve got a problem. But if they want to eat something with cheese, then you’ve got something to work with. Even better if all they want is something spicy.

Really great criteria are words like happiness, popularity, safety, personal fulfillment. These can be linked to any product or idea. When politicians say what’s important to them, they will always use vague words like these, because they appeal to the most amount of people.

When you have a few vague words that are important to them, you are ready to go to work. Just convince them that by doing what you want them to do, they will fulfill all or part of their criteria.

This is best done indirectly, because if you use the direct approach you will sound too much like a salesperson.

Like say, if they want to feel relaxed, you can tell a story about a happy couple that bought a TV from you, and it fit great in their living room, and they share a lot of relaxation when watching their TV.

The more vague words that you get, the easier it will be to convince them to do whatever you want. The longer you spread out your conversation, the more likely they’ll come to the conclusion on their own.

You might start to elicit his or her criteria conversationally, and then talk about something completely different, then tell a story about how a previous client fulfilled their criteria through your product. Then talk about more things not related, and then slowly fill each criteria on by one.

When you do this the right way, and with patience, by the end of the conversation, they will be begging you to be able to do what you want. This is really powerful.

Of course, make sure you don’t persuade them to do something against their interests, like buy a sports car for a family of eight. When you use this with their best interests in mind, you can create a lot of happiness in people..

Want to find out more about Easy Persuasion? Join countless others when you visit George Hutton’s lens about Covert Persuasion for your persuasion needs.

The following are some tips that can help you cool things off a bit so that tiny annoyances don’t build into insurmountable problems.

1. Focus On The Positive- Why do we all to often focus only on the negative things in life? If I only had more money, if only my home was bigger, why did my car have to brake down. These are common questions people ask themselves, instead of saying at: at least I have money in the bank, there are many without homes and I should be happy I have a roof over my head, the car may have broken down but once it is fixed I still have it, not everyone can say that. The same should also be applied to your marriage. No one is perfect, so we need to stop expecting our spouse to be. Instead of getting annoyed that they came home from work late, be happy they have a job and work hard to provide for you. Don’t yell when they spend money on something that you think is silly, instead be thankful that you had the money for the purchase and it has made your spouse happy. Instead of thinking and focusing on how your spouse has annoyed you think of all the ways your life has been better because they are a part of it.

2. Excuse Yourself For A Moment- If you are finding it difficult to focus on the positive step away for a moment to calm your self down. Breathing exercises work wonders with this. Once you have cleared your head, you will be able focus on the positive and speak to your spouse in a calm and rational way.

3. Discuss, Don’t Fight- If there is an annoyance in your marriage that you just can not take anymore and you feel may get out of control if you keep silent any longer as your spouse if you can sit and discuss it. When you sit with your spouse you want to make sure that you do not get petty and most of all you do not scream or yell. Talk calmly and rationally until you can come to a solution that will suit both of you.

4. Create Moments To Spend Together- Take some time in the day, or at least once a week, to spend solely with your spouse. You can leave the kids with a sitter and go out to dinner, plan a romantic getaway together and spend time looking at all the places you can visit and what you will do. Don’t just plan the getaway make sure that you actually go on the getaway. Time for the two of you does not always have to cost money though. It can be staying at home and watching a movie while you snuggle (instead of sitting on opposite ends of the couch), play a board game, or whatever activity that you both enjoy to do. Many couples even choose a show that they both like and once a week sit down to watch it together. This is a great way to schedule partner time for you and your spouse.

5. Turn The Annoyance Into A Joke- Sometimes it is better to laugh then get mad. If you can find a way to make the annoyance humorous, without making fun of your spouse, you will find the annoyance will go away and turn into a joke. Play a game of hide and seek with shoes that are always being left around the house, or freeze their dirty clothes if they always leave them on the floor. Nothing should be done with anger, instead it should be completed with a loving heart. Be careful not to cross a line and do something that will anger or hurt your spouse. My husband has a bad habit of leaving his sleep machine tube out and it brakes all the time because the kids like to play with it. When I make the beds in the morning and notice that he forgot to put it away I will then hide it on him. Each night before bed we would get a good laugh at the different places that I found to hide is tube. It has now gotten to the point that I am saddened when I don’t see it because I know that we will not be playing our game of hide and seek that night. It was the perfect way to turn an annoying (and costly) situation into something fun and bonding.

Remember, living with the same person day in and day out can become very stressful. Follow these steps and you will find that although some of the annoyances may remain, they will no longer seem as large as they once did.

When you are searching for an effective way to recreate the bond between you and your spouse log onto Light Your Fire at www.lightyourfire.com. It is an excellent program that will provide greater results than expensive marriage counseling. log onto the website today, and begin making the changes your marriage needs to survive.